sea lions and tigers

Yesterday I was way way way past due on an oil change. I went and got one, and was frustrated at how steep the price was compared to normal. They stopped giving out coupons for 20 dollar oil changes at valvoline. Anywho, was sitting there waiting on that and it was so nice out, James took his nap in the car, and I all of a sudden was like its 50 something degrees out and gorgeous lets go to the zoo! So we got to the zoo at 2 and it was wonderful. We don't go alot because it is a bit of gas, but the zoo is free and it is only 20 minutes from home. I needed a mommy and James date. It was great! I have never been able to park that close to the entrance before, and it was so not crowded I put James mittens on him and took him out of the stroller. He walked with me and loved it. He got to run around and point and the animals and giggle, and pretty much do whatever he wanted. He loved the zebras and the tiger. We went through the penguins thing, and we got to go to the sealion sound under water tunnel. It was amazing. It was a great day with him and I really needed it. I think he really loved it, he kept saying mom and giving me hugs.
Had to take him to the dr today for his eczema, it has gotten worse. The dr said it would in the winter. We have been doing over the counter eucerin and cetaphil restoraderm, and she gave us some perscriptions to try this time. We have a small kinda vasoline like steroid cream for the really red spots when he gets them, and then she said to keep using the other lotions and put the ammonium lactate lotion in rotation with those. Praying this helps him. I hate seeing him try to itch and being uncomfortable. It breaks my heart.
Thankful we could go to the dr and that his dr always gets us in. So thankful for her. His next appointment isnt until his 2 year check up which is nuts. I have to start keeping a journal of the words he says to make sure he is making the right ammount of progress speaking. She said he seems fine and it isn't a problem that girls seem to talk faster and more, because James is way more concerned with what the drawers are full of and why the tv buttons work when it is plugged in lol. He is doing great. I hope he starts talking more though, he jabbers all the time and is really saying something, I just dont know what.
Anywho got up and ran today :) I love getting up early and having the whole day to do stuff. I have some picking up to do around the house and need to read my Bible. I have class tonight and have no idea what I am going to do for the craft. yikes.

hope you all have a good day. enjoy your not dry itchy skin and be thankful! we don't think about this kind of stuff unless it directly effects us.

Ponderings

So there is that Daniel fast going on today. And I wish everyone the best who is participating. I was going to give up chocolate and soda, but it is not hard for me to give that up so I don't feel like I would be sacraficing much. A lot of people at my church are going to go days with just water and a very select amont of food for 21 days. I don't feel comfortable health wise to do it. I have tests coming up, a bunch of blood tests that we need to get an answer from. And, I would still have to make meals for Tim and James, as well as maintain enough energy to take care of James. I hope that sometime in the future, I can figure out a healthy way to do it, but I do not understand it enough or know how to do it for this year. On the other hand of it, I don't even feel like giving up food is the sacrafice I need to be making. I need to be giving up more time.
I need to make sure I am reading my Bible once a day, and then I want to up my time from there. I know I am the kind of person who prays out loud when I do stuff, and I pray constantly. I would like to make sure I am getting down on my knees and slowing down and praying at least twice a day. I have also decided, that when I am running (which I didn't do this morning and will do tomorrow before yoga, James didnt go to bed till 2 because of a late nap so he gets no nap today so we can get back on sched, i love the sched i have set up) anyways, when I am running, I use Pandora which is amazing, and I will make sure I am only listening to Christian music when running. I do not by any means feel like I have a bad relationship with Jesus, but I want to draw closer to Him. If i draw closer to Him, stay more focused, everything else will fall in the right place. If I draw closer to Him, maybe He will mend my heart ache of losing babies. I don't care what people say or think, it doesn't matter how far along you make it in a pregnancy, that baby is a baby no matter what week you lose them. You already have dreams and hopes and ideas for them. When they slip away, it leaves a hole. That hole hurts.
 Of course I have James who helps me so much, whom I love so much, and who makes my whole life worth living, who makes me and tim so happy, and who really has showed us what a miracle he is which makes us even more thankful :) even more so when we sleep lol On a side note, I started getting those Belvita breakfast cracker things, and he really loves them, and they are tasty if anyone was wondering. O yeah anywho, I may not be fasting, but that is not what Tim and I need to be working on. We both need to work on drawing closer to God with our time. Yeah I know you can through fasting, and we have before, but that is not where we are at right now with our journey of drawing closer. Besides if we did fast, we'd only be fasting because someone told us to, and that is never the right reason to do it. 
So, send prayers our way that I can stay on this running sched, which will help with the potty training sched, hopefully eventually get James sleeping in his own bed for bed time not just naps, and more important, being more focused on and getting closer to God. :) Good things will come out of this year. God will hear our prayers and search our hearts. He always does what is best, and we will be happy with whatever his will is. I watched the passion last night. Something I never noticed in a way is that Jesus asked if there were other ways, if there was something else that could be done, someone else, if it could be God's will, but that Jesus would do whatever the Father's will was. "Your will not mine" but Jesus still asked. That's something for me to think on.

Lazy day

I am so thankful for the weekend. Went to church this morning, and today I am not going to do anything but play with James and cuddle and I think I want to take a nap when James does. Yep. Tomorrow I'll be up at 530 for running, and I am excited. Hillary came with me yesterday to get some stuff at the store and she found me some cute running shoes that I could afford. 14 dollars amd some change, and they are not white mommy runing shoes that go with mom jeans, they are black and pink and look fine. I know that doesnt matter shoes are shoes, and I needed different shoes to run in. I am just glad I like them and they will def work. Now I just gotta work on getting a yoga mat.
And, we were pretty lax on potty training during the holidays and then the miscarriage, but starting tomorrow we are going to start again. I just need to stay committed, and hope James doesnt get bored with it. He got bored with it last time, but we are gonna work on it and I am going to try a potty chart with stickers and stuff to show him what time he pottied and such. Wish me luck.
I don't really have a new years resolution, but I want to work on James being potty trained before his second birthday, and that he is using utensils successfully before his second birthday. And I want him to be saying his abcs and couting to ten by the end of the year. These are things I know he can do and we already work on. Not resolutions, but things I am excited for this year. I suppose my resolution this year if I have one is a healthy pregnancy and another baby. I'll know more about that after my dr appointment next friday. Well I'll have to wait on blood and thatll take longer.
Anywho, I am excited to relax today, and start my solid schedule tomorrow running on mwf and yoga on t/t. I think I'll have to save painting and writing and reading for the weekends. and potty training for James. O and my new glasses come in hopefully this week. :) So a new look for a new year I guess lol

Wish me luck

o my blog isnt letting me upload pictures from my computer anymore help. anyone know what i need to do to fix this?

Slugs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

What are little boys made of? Well my little boy is made of lots of energy and love and hugs and giggles. Lots of grins and shaking his no and running away before he gets caught. Lots of knocking things over, breaking things, and laughing when he farts. He is made of, throwing water out of the bath tub to watch my facial expression, sitting next to you giggling while he poops in his diaper, spilling his milk just because he can, sharing his food with the dogs when he is not hungry. He loves to stick his fingers in peppers nose until she licks him, chases the cats until they cry, pulls jaspers ears just to hear him squeal. That's what my little boy is made of.
He is sweet and funny, nice and caring. He loves to give hugs and he is learning to give kisses. He loves to sing and dance. He needs cuddles in the morning, and tickles before bed. He loves to read and play and do all kinds of things. I can't imagine what all he is made of. He doesn't something new every day. But I like to think that when he is older, he will be made of honor virtue and God. Full of kindess and strength, love and humor. Full of life, with a big heart to boot. I hope that's what my little man will be made of.

Of course, we will have to fill him with these things. Lift him up, and teach him to lean on God. I just pray we do it as best we can, because he deserves only the best.Ands when he has a sibling here, I pray sooner rather than later, that he will be a wonderful example :) I know we aren't supposed to  be proud, but I can't help but be proud of him, even though he is so young. He is a wonderful person, and I can't wait to see who he grows up to be. He is a beautiful soul, and I am so thankful that he is ours. I love every little thing about him, stinker and all.

I love Yoga Jullian Michaels style

So I took the tree down did the dishes and have been working on some laundry while James is playing with mama and papa. And I was going to go running, but I really need running shoes and want to save running for just MWF.
 I went ahead and looked around on youtube for a relaxing but fat burning work out and I think after trying some I found the one I love! I started out doing 50 jumping jacks and running in place stretching doing normal stuff to get my blood flowing, and then tried some weird pilates stuff I did not like. Tried some yoga I did not like. Then I found Jullian Michaels 30 min yoga work out. Uhm. Love. Love. Love it! I am hoping to find the dvd and on sale, as well as running shoes. I think I am really going to like this routine of getting up at 530am to do yoga or run.
 After I do my work out stuff, I can read my Bible and enjoy breakfast with James :) It will be nice and I am excited. I just want to lose 10lbs and maintain a healthy attitude and body.  I need to be healthy for me, for James and for Tim. As well as for the next pregnancy when we get to that. Anyways, I know it's a short blog and I already blogged today but I really just fell in love with that yoga and wanted to share. <3 Send lots of love prayers and positive thoughts this way please so I can stick to this routine.

It is what it is

Well, I went and got new glasses last night. They wont be in until next week, so I am roughing it until then. Sucks, but I am just thanking God I was able to get new ones. I am so so thankful that Hillary was able to take me to get the eye exam and help me pick out my new frames. We even put some glasses on James who btw looked adorable. He wouldnt keep them on long enough for me to get a picture but he was stinking cute. Praying though, that he doesn't have to have them and will have wonderfully healthy eyes in Jesus name.

When I got home, James had spilled a lot of hot chocolate that wasnt hot. Cleaned that huge mess up, and it was funny because he was trying to play in it. So I ended up getting out some shaving cream and squirting it on the table for him. Let him play in it and it was awesome. We really had fun, and then took a shower and put our pjs on and watched jurassic park 2 with daddy. Lots of cuddles and loving, and he was even in bed  by 830. It was really nice.

Today he is at mama and papa lawhons, and I am cleaning, :) It sure is quite with out him here, but I am excited to get the tree taken down, made some laundry detergent, and will dust and vacuum. More importantly it is quite and I can have some quite time with God. I can exiecise on with youtube, take a shower by myself, and pray the whole time out loud if I want to. I am thankful for this. I llove love love my lil guy, but it is also nice to have some quite time.

O and I called and got my blood results from yesterday, I am back to negative hcg. My levels went up higher this last pregnancy and also dropped alot faster. I think that is a good thing. So now, I guess I just focus on reading praying running and relaxing. Until my drs apt. Then I guess we do tests and go from there. Def has been a stressful start to a new year, but I am believing and recieving a wonderful year for Tim James and I. (and the one we are praying God wills us to add to the family) I'd totally be fine with a christmas baby. So thankful for my lil james :) It will make me so happy when we are able to grow our family. It is a funny thing, all of it, being so happy as we are, and knowing we will be even more happy with another one. But I am so happy and thankful for James, I kinda wonder how my heart will hold all the love and happiness of another one? Guess it just has to grow???? Not sure, guess we will figure it out lol.

Welp, I am gonna post some pics of James playing in shaving cream then get my butt up and finish cleaning :) I keep telling myself I cant exercise until I finish cleaning, and I really want to, Hope everyone has a good day. Hug your loved ones and hold your babies close today. Tell them you love them.

Eye am learning what lil boys are made of

O boy! My boy is a boy is a boy. That is for sure. I am learning what it means to have a little boy. Obviously me being a little girl, I am not built that way brain and all. I had a little brother, but it is so different when it is your little boy making messes and talking and being well a boy.

He is so strong and healthy and I am so thankful. After all of these miscarriages, I an honestly say I appreciate James and his health so so so much more. He really is a miracle. Speaking of my strong little man, he broke my glasses last night. Awesome. That is not an expense I planned on paying for a little while. I wasn't going to get new glasses until after we had another baby, since your eyes change so much and stuff. James apparently decided, he either didnt like my glasses anymore, or wanted to chew on them more than he wanted me to wear them. So there's that.

Yikes, today has just been rough in general. I ran monday and monday was great, yesterday was rough and today so far hasn't been fun. But I know God is there, and I don't know the reasons for these seasons but at least He is there and understands it. It is hard to trust when it is so stressful, but we will make it through it. Honestly it's not like it hurts us to try to focus more on God, have better realtionships, and bring our stress levels down by exercising and doing things that are relaxing. So ya, we might as well. And God sees all of it and is taking care of us. I keep telling myself this. Sometimes its like your head gets it and your heart is crying. I know we will have good days and bad days, that's normal. But it will be wonderful when we get to a place wher eGod is helping us to have more good days than bad. This is not to say we are not thankful, even in our bad days we are thankful. We are not rich, but we are getting by and have what we need. God promised us provisions not riches here at least. I am rich with Tim and James anyways, and when we have another we will be all the more rich with family love and laughter. O an I started reading Exodus to James last night, reading about moses to him is pretty cool :) I know he doesnt understand it all, but it certainly will help me and Tim

We will get there. Slowly but surely, we will. And James. well he is just gonna keep on being him. a lil gorgeous stinker of a boy. healthy and causing trouble :)