Temper Temper

I know it is normal to hit temper tantrums during and around two, i've heard it lasts well past two. Especially with boys. I am married, so of course I know this. Men don't get rid of tempers, they have them forever. Men don't stop throwing tempers tantrums, they just not as frequent as with a toddler.
So here I am thinking about this. We already see Tims temper in James. Tim since I have met him, has dealt so well with his temper and has really started getting things under control. Of course no one is perfect and he has his moments, but he has in the last 6 years certainly changed and matured in this area.
It bothers me though, as a mom and a wife, how can I help? I know James will learn from example and that is why it is so so SO important for Tim to show him how to deal with anger in a healthy way.
But then we are at this area of two where when James is made, you tell him no, and he doesn't like that or understand why, he hits. He throws. He hits us with his hands, or throws something at us.
I have done some reading on it and online I get anything from adhd and autistic to he doe not know how to express his feelings and wants mom and dads help that is why he hits mom and dad.
Not sure what to do, spanking does nothing. Smack on the hand nothing. Smack on the face only if he hits on the face, nothing. He is tough. Very tough. Not that we beat him, and I am not going to lie, I cry a lot after I spank him. If i have spanked him during the day I cry at nightwhen we are in bed. It really hurts me to spank him. But I don't want a brat either. Telling a lil boy and sitting him in time out does nothing, nothing at all.
So I suppose I am going to do what I should have been doing a while a ago, I'll pray about it. Every day. I will pray for Tim to lead by example, for God to give him strength and wisdom. I will pray for James, that he will see how and learn how to deal with his frustration on a healthy way. I am really going to have to get on this.
And something I have been seeing here and there is, when they start hitting, don't spank them. Sit them next to you tell them that you hurt them get upset and sad, and then talk to them and tell them it is ok to be angry and upset but not to hurt. I suppose I will try that.
I am sure everyone goes through rough times here and there parenting, and everyone has to figure out different things that work for them and their family. I hope we figure this out soon for James. I want to do what is best for him, I want to be the best mom I can possibly be, he deserves that.
I am raising a man, a person, who at the moment is my baby, but he will grow to be a man. I want to be proud of him, I want him to be better than me or Tim or anyone we know. I want to see God in him, and to see strength and kindness in him. And that will all fall on me and Tim. We have to raise him to be the person we know he can be and who God made him to be. That's a lot of pressure.

Also, I have decided on Easter, we will do what we did today. I have put a lot of thought into it. We will a) not make easter similar to christmas. You don't need clothes and an insane amount of toys with your candy. You don't need a lot of candy. Chocolate bunny and two or three other things. Why? Because we celebrate resurrection day not easter. Ya we call it easter, but we don't celebrate the Easter that a good portion of the world does, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus with others that believe as us. Easter bunny and eggs have nothing to do with that. And while I don't want him made fun of at school for not getting a lot, I don't want easter to be about what he gets. Which brings me to our second agreement on the matter, baskets and eggs will be something you get after church. Jesus comes first. And while I know we pray and read our Bibles at home, and on a daily basis try to show James Jesus needs to be consistantly a part of your life and first. I mean we aren't perfect in this, but again we have to show him. Anyways, my point was, we want him to understand why we celebrate on that day, and want that to be what we do first. We are also going to do this on Christmas. We will read the Christmas story out of the Bible in the morning when we all wake up, and then we will pray as a family and tell Jesus happy birthday (and point out it is really in July lol) anyways then we will do presents.
Something I have put a lot of thought into. Something that has really weighed on my heart. Something that bothers me. The world is backwards when it comes to important things. It will fall on us to instill in James the important things in life. We will have to raise him to make it in this worl. We will have to pray over him every day, and do our best to show him how to be a good person so that when he gets out in the world, he is not changed by it, but changes it.

Today i am thankful for my Jesus. Who is alive, and is coming back for me. Something worth living for, I'd love to see the day when Jesus comes back. I'd love to be standing with Tim James and baby (that is a girl or a boy but we aren't sure which yet lol) and see Jesus come back. What a glorious fearful and wonderful thing that will be. I look foward to it.